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Univision to fire over 200 employees, aggressively court millennials because #SLAYGURL

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The Washington Post is reporting that Univision is firing over 200 of its employees because the company has been losing money. Now, if you pay attention to media at all, then you’re probably asking yourself “Wait, didn’t Univison just buy Gawker Media for, like, millions of dollars?” They sure did — $135 million, to be exact. And previously they also bough The Onion and The Root (the latter used to be owned by The Washington Post):

The Spanish-language media giant Univision Communications will lay off almost 6 percent of its workforce — between 200 and 250 people — after it slipped into the red last quarter, the company announced Wednesday. The layoffs, along with a planned restructuring, “are in response to difficult times, challenging times,” Isaac Lee, Univision’s digital, entertainment and news chief, told The Washington Post in his first public comments on the moves. “We need to position ourselves for the future.” Univision had a third-quarter net loss of $30.5 million on total revenue of $735 million, down 8 percent.

But Univision’s newly acquired ventures are not the ones losing money — well, that we know of — no, the problem seems to be with Fusion and its former bread and butter: Spanish-language media consumers. The obvious answer as to why the latter is happening would be to say that the company’s Spanish-speaking audience is shrinking because it’s getting old. However, if Telemundo has anything to say about that, it’s probably has more to do with the fact that Univision’s Spanish content sucks, because the NBC-owned station recently surpassed its competitor in ratings — including in the oh-so-coveted millennial demographic:

Telemundo was the top-rated Spanish-language network in primetime last week for the advertiser-coveted 18-49 demographic. Why’s that a big deal? Well, it was actually the first time that the NBCUniversal-owned broadcast network ever accomplished the feat, topping Univision in the process. From Monday-Sunday, Telemundo outperformed Univision by 2 percent in the main demo. Millennials were on board, too, as adults 18-34 tuned in to Telemundo 5 percent more than Univision for the week beginning July 18.

Telemundo has been far more adventurous with its offerings — plenty of risqué narconovelas and shows like Hasta que te conocí, Juan Gabriel’s hit, multi-episode biography — while Univison has mostly stuck to its cheesy novela rosa remakes and beauty pageants (Nuestra Belleza Latina).

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Hillary Clinton kicking it with two of Univision’s most iconic hosts: El Gordo y La Flaca.

Curiously — and even more so than Telemundo — Univison has been heavily courting the millennial eyeball, which is why they launched Fusion, it’s “multicultural” network, in the first place. Oh, and, yes: that’s also the reason why they bought all those HIP-TURNT-HASTAG-SLAYED websites such as The Onion, which Univison mistakenly assumes millennials are totally snapchatting about.

Now, somewhat hilariously, Univision is integrating Fusion into Gawker Media:

The majority of Fusion’s editorial staff voted last week to unionize. The Wall Street Journal reported last month that, according to employees, executives had discouraged that development. Lee said that those employees who had voted to join the Writers Guild of America union, and who were being laid off, would be given the same severance as other union employees within Gizmodo Media Group. He added that he has no objection to employees unionizing. Lee said that the layoffs involve business-side and editorial employees throughout Univision.As part of the restructuring, Fusion and the Root will join Gizmodo Media Group, the former Gawker sites: Deadspin, Jezebel, Gizmodo, Lifehacker, Kotaku and Jalopnik.

Lest we forget, Gawker used to bully Fusion like a skinny cheerleader bullies a multicultural chubby nerd. If all of this was an ’80s high school flick, chubby-ass Fusion is about to see skinny-ass Gawker get their comeuppance in the parking lot RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS, YOU GUYS.

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María Rubio was so good as Catalina Creel, an iconic telenovela villain, the role ruined her career

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According to sources on Twitter, and also TvNotas, the holy bible of Mexican gossip, María Rubio, the legendary actress best known for her role as Catalina Creel de Larios in Cuna de lobos, has passed away. She was 83 years old.

Thanks to her role as Soraya Montenegro in María la del Barrio, Itati Cantoral has been dominating the internet with an insane amount of memes, gifs, and even a House of Cards promo special. Itati blew up in the mid ’90s, when older millennials were still teens, and she’s that generation’s go-to character when it comes to Mexican telenovela villains.

Yes, Cantoral was great as Soraya, but the top dog in the telenovela villain game was — and has always been — María Rubio. The Tijuana-born actress was so good in Cuna de lobos that, according to an interview she did with Cristina Saralegui, the role ruined her career:

“[Catalina Creel] was a difficult, beloved character. I enjoyed playing her, but she also hurt me a lot. People completely forgot about María Rubio and now it seems that, after 40 years of being an actress, I’ve only done Catalina Creel.”

Catalina, a murderous matriarch, was known for having some of the best one-liners in telenovela history. But in the same interview with Saralegui, which was filmed over 20 years ago, María proved to be just as cunning and smart as her infamous character, but also incredibly funny:

“[Although I played a villain], I’ve received nothing but compliments, love, and admiration. Never aggression. I think viewers do attack the bad ones — bad actresses, that is.”

If you understand Spanish, check out the hilarious interview below. Watch María viciously own everyone in a panel of full of young telenovela villains:

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Traumatic advice from aunt Rosa: “Don’t torture your Care Bear, Mijo. Or else.”

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I was 6 years old when I yelled at Tugs, my Care Bear. I put him in time-out for not agreeing to the rules of an imaginary game I had just created.

I built a little time-out fortress for him to stay in while I played with my other toys. Coincidentally my tía Rosa was visiting that day. I urged her to see all my toys when she came into the house. I also explained to her that Tugs was in time-out, to which she replied in shock, “Mijo, mira, You have to be nice to your toys.”

I replied, “Tía, I am nice to my toys, but I’m teaching him a lesson.”

She contested nervously, “No, Mijo, you have to be nice to your toys or they might not be nice to you.”

I wasn’t following her logic.

Mijo, if you’re not nice to your toys, then at night time they might wake up and crawl into your bed to cut your toes with tiny razors,” she said slowly while staring at my imprisoned Care Bear.

“What?!” I whispered to her while looking at Tugs from the corner of my eye.

“Yes, your toys might do very bad things to you if you don’t treat them good.”

I stared at her in disbelief.

She stood up and walked towards the doorway.

Mijo, I brought you some tortillas. Come in the kitchen and let’s warm them up,” Rosa said casually.

From then on, Tugs sat on a tufted pillow on my dresser while I slept in velcro shoes for the next year. Growing up in my Mexican-American family meant that everything was possibly alive and watching you.


Felix III – Journeys the cosmos via Holy Hands Vol. 2. Rents a one-bedroom on Neptune. IG: @Futurefelix / Twitter: @thefuturefelix


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