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Trump Supporter Is Actually a Walking, Talking Census Form

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You’ve probably seen the video by now: Donald Trump is doing his one-man show routine in Vegas, starts humble-bragging about a story People magazine did on him, then decides to bring a lady to the stage.

She’s screaming, she’s beside herself.

Like any terrible magician you’ve ever seen, he asks her assistant to confirm that neither the two of them or anybody associated to his organization have never, ever met before under any legal or business capacity whatsoever.

The lady doesn’t answer to his question (which was probably not included in the instructions).

She just wants to show the world her copy of the issue of People magazine.

She just wants to scream to the world that she’s Hispanic and that she is voting for Mr. Trump, a person she actually loves.

Wait a minute.

Have you EVER heard a Latino friend call himself or herself “Hispanic”?

What is this lady? A walking, talking Census form?

Who advised the Trump people on that particular line of her script?

Also: do yo know many Colombian Latina ladies who read People magazine? Maybe in Vegas. Maybe in Vegas.

Also, doesn’t that screenshot of Trump hugging his very real Hispanic supporter from behind remind you of some other cheesy visual production we’d rather never see again?

Make America great again, you crazy kids!

Make America great again, you crazy kids!

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Culture

“Trump Dating” site doesn’t want the gays, but allows the “happily married” to join

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You can even be mad at Trump Dating, a new website for lonely — or not so lonely, but just promiscuous — maganogamous people. It’s a perfect representation of their cherished administration, since it’s also homophobic — it only allows “straight” women or men to sign up — and, just like Trump, it’s all about adulterous relationships:

“When you kick off the process of starting a profile, you get two options for labeling yourself — ‘straight man’ or ‘straight woman.’

Yet according to Trump Dating’s rather strange drop-down menus, married people are welcome. For a relationship status, the site offers options like ‘have a significant other,’ ‘happily married,’ and ‘unhappily married.'”

And since no self-respecting republican-specific dating site should exist unless it takes an issue with race, Trump Dating allows their users to be super specific about their genealogy:

“The ethnicity options also seemed oddly specific. In addition to the typical categories, the site includes choices like ‘Scandinavian,’ ‘Polynesian,’ ‘Eastern European,’ ‘Western European,’ ‘Mediterranean,’ and ‘Eskimo,’ a term used to label the indigenous people of Alaska, Canada, and Greenland that is considered offensive and inaccurate.”

OMG, you guys. There better be a second menu where users can identify which of the five Aryan subtype races — Nordic, Mediterranean, Dinaric, Alpine, and East Baltic — they belong to. Otherwise the server room of this Trump Dating is gonna get tiki torched.

Anyway, where you at, Chispa, the “Tinder for Latinos”? You gonna let Trump Dating walk all over you? You need to re-brand to DACA Dong, Canelo Kennedy Courting, or something.

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Culture

Pendejo, your favorite insult, has its origins in pubes

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Reading the protest signs from last month’s Women’s March was inspirational, and occasionally entertaining. One sign in particular caught my attention: “Pendejo is Spanish for Stable Genius,” which went viral. It made me smile, and it got me thinking about the origins of the word.

Women have been rightfully calling out pendejos for a while now. One of my earlier memories was when my mother shouted this insult to a man, who almost hit us with his car. I prayed the man didn’t get out of his car to escalate the situation because I felt the insult was so severe. I was seven years old and scared, not of my mother, but for her. Thankfully the man kept driving, perhaps he was too embarrassed to stick around.

As for pendejo’s development, I found out it stems from the latin pertiniculus or pecten, which means “pubic hair.” How did pubic hair come to mean dumbass? I dug deeper into the internets because our favorite insult undoubtedly merits deep scholarly research. My typing lead me to a college paper on the subject.

It appears pendejo was used in 16th century Spain to refer to pubescent teens who thought of themselves as grown ups. A century later it also appeared to mean coward. It wasn’t until the 1917 publication of the Dictionary of the Spanish Language (Diccionario de la lengua española) where its definition in Latin America shifted to stupid, dumb:

It (dictionary) references the etymology definition, then that of coward, and finally the one used in the Americas (Mexico, Colombia, Chile): dumb man, stupid.”

Thankfully the current administration can make use of all three historical definitions of pendejo: There’s the pubescent and immature time Trump tweeted insults about Mika Brzezinski, the various times he’s been called a coward — being a draft dodger and all — and, having been involved in various businesses only to bankrupt them, well that certainly makes him a classic, modern-day pendejo.

To the brave woman who held up her pendejo sign at the Women’s March, thank you. I dedicate this post to you.


Tizoc Schwartz co-wrote a short film on the word ‘Chingar’ and has written other stuff you’ve never heard of.  He’s a carb enthusiast, and dislikes social media.


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