The Pastor, an upcoming film Primer Impacto is calling “the first-ever Hispanic Christian movie” — which I’m sure is a huge overstatement — is a film by British director Deborah Goodwin, and the Salvadorian producer and actor Arturo Muyshondt, who’s also the star of the film.
But unlike the boring Christian and Catholic films my grandmother used to force me to watch, The Pastor has some spiffy production values, looks fairly gritty, and everyone in it is hot. Here’s the plot summary off IMDB:
While serving 8 years in prison, a former gang leader discovers his faith in God after a brutal knife attack. Pursuing his newfound faith, a prison pastor mentors and ordains the once violent man. After being released back into his community, the new pastor vows to protect and serve his community. By rebuilding a church in the middle of a multi-cultural, Hispanic gang territory in Brooklyn, the Pastor seeks neutral territory where the underprivileged youth of the community may find an alternative to the dangerous gang lifestyle so rampant around them.
So what does this all mean? That all those priests who keep getting caught having cybersex with men are about to have some new poster boys, and that Mel Gibson might have to make a second, way sexier version of The Passion of the Christ — already one of the best snuff films out there — if he’s planning to step up his game.
Also, if you actually see The Pastor in a theater — and you can because it came out last Monday — be careful not to sit next to this pastor because he’s probably going to blow his load on your lap.
Here’s the trailer: