La Rosa de Guadalupe, which is produced by Televisa and repeatedly aired by Univision, is one of the best worst shows the television network has ever conceived. It’s so badly acted, horribly written, and terribly produced that, throughout its 737 episodes, it has inspired a countless parodies, memes, nerd rage, and even an actual suicide. Yes, people have died because of this show — yet, considering its 8-year-old run, La Rosa has almost as many episodes as the 40-year-old Saturday Night Live, so apparently it’s fairly popular.
Pretty cray, right?
Because the show is essentially Catholic brainwashing propaganda, La Rosa promises to portray “a miracle” in every episode. Thankfully the show’s writers get very creative when it comes to setting up adversity for their characters, and thus drug addiction, incest, adultery, student bullying, elder abuse, and marital violence are but a few of the subjects La Rosa gladly covers. Also, to keep things fresh and very amateur, the show almost never repeats actors.
They do, however, repeat one bit in all of their episodes: right before showing the promised miracle, a single white rose appears near a carefully-placed Virgin of Guadalupe painting or figurine, and the lead protagonist’s face gets a close-up shot while being caressed by magical breeze.
Here’s a gif:
This imaginative, next-level campiness has been ridiculed for years, but it’s basically half the reason why anybody watches the show. How did the producers of the La Rosa come up with this great idea? One man — a hero to all of us who have no life, which is why we take an interest in Rosa-related trivia in the first place — took it upon himself to find out. His name is Ricardo Escobar, and this is what he found out:
Carlos Mercado, the writer of these stories, told me that he presented this project [to Televisa] in 2006, but it was rejected. He then went to the basilica, asked the Virgin to give him the right elements to once again pitch the idea, and, upon stepping out of the church, he felt the wind hit his face. That also gave him the idea to introduce the rose. Afterwards he took the project back to Televisa and it was approved.
Mmm, interesting. So in Mexico Catholic saints are just handing out miracles to any asshole who pay them a visit? I see. *Writes Rictus business and advertising plan, books flight to Mexico City*
Watch the full interview with La Rosa de Guadalupe producers below.
A “satanic” doll called “Rosita” has been terrorizing Mexican women for decades
You in the mood for some magical realism? Then meet Rosita, a “satanic” doll who’s been terrorizing Mexican women for decades.
Al Rojo Vivo, a semi-serious news show on Telemundo *shakes head in embarrassment,* caught up with Rosalba, Rosita’s owner, to get the full story. It turns that Rosita was purchased 42 years ago in Saltillo, a city in the Mexican state of Coahuila, as a gift for one of Rosalba’s unborn children.
BUT THEN ROSITA KELP MURDERING ROSALBA’S KIDS.
Just kidding. But apparently some weird shit did start to happen around the house after the doll’s arrival, like the time when Rosita tried to lasciviously seduce an innocent boy:
“Once a nephew walked into her room, but then quickly ran out. He looked very pale. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ we asked him, and he told us the doll started winking at him while she sat in a rocking chair.”
Kid, relax. Rosita is 42-years-old. She was probably just trying to get some because a) you’re her size, and b) homegirl is not getting any younger.
But Al Rojo Vivo is all about producing hard-hitting stories with well-sourced journalism, which is why they interviewed what appears to be some random señora:
“Seeing her… yeah, it’s weird.”
Rosa, don’t listen them. You’re not satanic or weird. Those women are just jealous because you still look like you’re ten and they don’t. You’re a strong, independent, and sexually-liberated doll who’s just trying to do her thing. #youdoyoudoll
Check out Rosita’s story below.
Myrka Dellanos should punch people, like Raul de Molina, whenever they ask her about Luis Miguel
From 1992 until 2004, Myrka Dellanos was the main reason why most people watched Primer Impacto, Univision’s second-worst show after Sábado Gigante. Yes, viewers liked María Celeste Arrarás, Myrka’s then co-host who’s been doing her thing on Telemundo’s Al Rojo Vivo, but Dellanos always seemed cooler.
The beautiful Cuban-American dressed like a hip ’90s girl when she was off the clock, and had a fun, bubbly personality. MTV had Daisy Fuentes, Univision had Myrka Dellanos.
But in the mid ’00s, after her contract ended with Univision, the cherished host began to fade into obscurity. Years later she turned up in Estrella TV, a network where d-list Latino stars are banished to after they become too embarrassing even for Televisa.
Having been asked to host Good Morning America in her heyday, Myrka’s star power has always been above Estrella TV — and Univision, to be honest — which might be the reason why her social media networks have been ballooning over the years.
This week Dellanos, now 52, made a surprise visit to El Gordo y La Flaca and revealed she’s been booked by her old network to host Premios lo Nuestro this Thursday. But like all of Luis Miguel’s victims — including Daisy Fuentes, oddly enough — poor Myrka has been enduring a life sentence of having to speak about “El Sol” whenever she’s placed in front of a camera:
Myrka was way too tolerant of Raul de Molina’s barbs, but she seriously needs a clause in her contract that allows her to punch people in the face if they bring up her ex-boyfriends.
Get Lisa Bloom all over this, Myrka.
Also, welcome back.