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Evo Morales apologizes for telling his Health Minister “I hate to think you’re a lesbian”

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The best politicians — or worst, depending on your politics on politics — are the ones who can successfully work semantics and ambiguity to their benefit. Cantinfleando or cantinflear, is what we colloquially call it in Mexico, and the term takes after the popular actor Cantinflas — specifically for his tendency to speak in puzzling and vague dialogue. The technique needs to be mastered and constantly practiced because otherwise a politician can end up like Bolivian President Evo Morales: shamed for saying dumb, homophobic remarks:

Morales has had to apologize for scolding his health minister, Ariana Campero, for not paying close attention to his speech on Monday at a ceremony to hand over some new ambulances. ‘I hate to think you are a lesbian,’ he told Campero.

This isn’t the first time Evo makes outlandish and homophobic proclamations. Back in 2010 he said dudes go bald and gay because they eat chicken — which is actually a hilariously terrible theory.

Anyway. Understandably, lots of people got pissed at Evo for hating to think that his own Health Minister may be a lesbian. But did Morales really say what he came out of his mouth? Not according to his apology:

‘To say, or to ask, or to think whether someone is lesbian or gay is not an insult or an offensive remark,’ read Morales’ statement, posted on the Communications Ministry’s website. ‘I and my government have nothing against anyone’s sexual preferences […] I humbly and sincerely apologize. It wasn’t my intention to offend anyone.’

You see, Evo meant to ask Ariana Campero if she is a lesbian, and not that he “hates to think” she’s a lesbian. Or something. I don’t know.

Vague insinuations, nebulous and equivocal meanings — if you ever want to try your hand at politics and government, kids, remember: talk a lot, say nothing.

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María Rubio was so good as Catalina Creel, an iconic telenovela villain, the role ruined her career

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According to sources on Twitter, and also TvNotas, the holy bible of Mexican gossip, María Rubio, the legendary actress best known for her role as Catalina Creel de Larios in Cuna de lobos, has passed away. She was 83 years old.

Thanks to her role as Soraya Montenegro in María la del Barrio, Itati Cantoral has been dominating the internet with an insane amount of memes, gifs, and even a House of Cards promo special. Itati blew up in the mid ’90s, when older millennials were still teens, and she’s that generation’s go-to character when it comes to Mexican telenovela villains.

Yes, Cantoral was great as Soraya, but the top dog in the telenovela villain game was — and has always been — María Rubio. The Tijuana-born actress was so good in Cuna de lobos that, according to an interview she did with Cristina Saralegui, the role ruined her career:

“[Catalina Creel] was a difficult, beloved character. I enjoyed playing her, but she also hurt me a lot. People completely forgot about María Rubio and now it seems that, after 40 years of being an actress, I’ve only done Catalina Creel.”

Catalina, a murderous matriarch, was known for having some of the best one-liners in telenovela history. But in the same interview with Saralegui, which was filmed over 20 years ago, María proved to be just as cunning and smart as her infamous character, but also incredibly funny:

“[Although I played a villain], I’ve received nothing but compliments, love, and admiration. Never aggression. I think viewers do attack the bad ones — bad actresses, that is.”

If you understand Spanish, check out the hilarious interview below. Watch María viciously own everyone in a panel of full of young telenovela villains:

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Traumatic advice from aunt Rosa: “Don’t torture your Care Bear, Mijo. Or else.”

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I was 6 years old when I yelled at Tugs, my Care Bear. I put him in time-out for not agreeing to the rules of an imaginary game I had just created.

I built a little time-out fortress for him to stay in while I played with my other toys. Coincidentally my tía Rosa was visiting that day. I urged her to see all my toys when she came into the house. I also explained to her that Tugs was in time-out, to which she replied in shock, “Mijo, mira, You have to be nice to your toys.”

I replied, “Tía, I am nice to my toys, but I’m teaching him a lesson.”

She contested nervously, “No, Mijo, you have to be nice to your toys or they might not be nice to you.”

I wasn’t following her logic.

Mijo, if you’re not nice to your toys, then at night time they might wake up and crawl into your bed to cut your toes with tiny razors,” she said slowly while staring at my imprisoned Care Bear.

“What?!” I whispered to her while looking at Tugs from the corner of my eye.

“Yes, your toys might do very bad things to you if you don’t treat them good.”

I stared at her in disbelief.

She stood up and walked towards the doorway.

Mijo, I brought you some tortillas. Come in the kitchen and let’s warm them up,” Rosa said casually.

From then on, Tugs sat on a tufted pillow on my dresser while I slept in velcro shoes for the next year. Growing up in my Mexican-American family meant that everything was possibly alive and watching you.


Felix III – Journeys the cosmos via Holy Hands Vol. 2. Rents a one-bedroom on Neptune. IG: @Futurefelix / Twitter: @thefuturefelix


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