I know what you’re thinking: didn’t Rictus launch, like, three hours ago? Yeah, sorta; the first post went live on September 23rd, and we’ve been writing sporadically since then.
But, believe or not, our two-peso website has had over 40,000 views since we first trashed Juanes. So someone — you! — is reading us (aw, thanks).
Anyway. Here are the most popular posts Rictus has published so far along with their original excerpts:
According to the Mexican press, Elton John agreed to collaborate with Juanga, his Universal Music label mate, in exchange for half of the track’s royalties. There is no release date for the duo’s collaboration, which will be released on Juanga’s next LP, but apparently Luis Miguel was made a similar offer. “El Sol,” however, decided to pass because he didn’t like the song he was sent.
There is a new war brewing in the crazy world of Latinoland. And it involves one X, but no sex. It’s about the word “Latinx,” a term to include all Latinos and Latinas without the male-dominant bias implied in the generic plural “Latinos.” I get it, and I’m all for looking for ways to destroy the unnecessary patriarchal legacy in our culture. But unless you really need a specific term like that because you are a double minority, like trans Latinas/os, it’s probably not going to work.
Why, you ask? Read the rest of the story here.
Lucifer has been given birth In Argentina (Cerati tried to warn us about this, but we wouldn’t listen)
What in the name of yerba mate, Diego Maradona, and Pimpinela is going on in Argentina?! Well, according to the local press, some pretty sinister stuff. For example, a couple named their baby Lucifer after certain baby-naming laws were relaxed
Take a look at El Chapo’s Revenge (Beach Better Have My Money). It’s not just a pun, but an “interactive artwork” where, after forking over $250 bucks, Art Basel attendees are given a metal detector and sent on a scavenger hunt inside a fenced off beach area. Zerek Kempf and Nathan Gwynne, the creators of El Chapo’s Revenge, allow participants to take home whatever they find, which seem to be all sorts of “prizes” (zinc-casted chicken bones, Donald Trump heads, corn cobs, etc).
[11:56 AM] José Manuel Simián: This year’s Hispanic Heritage Month brought so many terrible things we should probably make a top 10 list. (I’m thinking of Emilio Estefan’s anti-Trump song to begin with), but the latest slap was probably the trailer for HBO’s documentary The Latin Explosion.
[11:56 AM] Marcelo Báez: Yes. I mean, I know Jesus has taught us to turn the other cheek, but if we continue to follow his advice, we’re going to be left with no face at all.
[11:58 AM] José: Exactly. Well, you and I were raised on that sort of Catholic S&M. It’s just that this is so boring. And so incorrect. If you tell the story of Latin music in the US through the likes of the Estefans, Ricky Martin and JLo, you’re just fooling yourself.
[12:01 PM] Marcelo: Yes, absolutely. But they obviously have an agenda; most of the people in these documentaries are basically Emilio’s protégés, or at the very least people who are very close to them.
Yesterday Taylor Swift performed in the 305 — that’s in Miami, you geographically-impaired dork — where she brought out Pitbull, the Che Guevara-hating rapper (“It’s like wearing an Adolf Hitler T-shirt and not knowing”) and Ricky Martin, a man whose 1999 self-titled album Taylor bought when she was 10-years-old (or at least that’s what she told her audience).
A few days ago Florinda Meza, aka Chimoltrufia, Doña Florinda, and Popis on El Chavo del Ocho, gave an intense interview to Mexican reporter Pati Chapoy where, for the first time since the death of Roberto Gómez Bolaños, her husband and the creator of El Chavo del Ocho, she discussed with great detail many aspects of their scandalous relationship. Meza is notoriously private, so it’s shocking that she would grant such an interview to Chapoy, Mexico’s Barba Walters or sorts, especially because Florinda actually dug deep.
After keeping a low profile since the release of 2012’s Primera Fila, her Unplugged or sorts, Fey just teased a new song featuring Lenny de la Rosa, a no-name model-actor-singer, and… it sucks. “No me acostumbro” sounds like a leftover bachata track Prince Royce wouldn’t use to wipe Romeo Santos’ ass with — but, hey, you’re a free-thinking adult (I hope). So go ahead and make up your own mind.
Camilo Sesto, the 69-year-old Spanish singer and composer, is a legend. Julio Iglesias and Raphael have nothing on him (Camilo can even imitate both of them to a T). But Sesto is also notoriously private and a bit eccentric, which is why the Spanish press has often compared him to Michael Jackson. He’s not entirely a recluse, but since the early ’90s Camilo’s public appearances have become as rare as Trump-supporting “Hispanics.” Seeing Sesto out in the wild is like seeing a gracious, majestic unicorn pooping rainbow-colored ice cream.
Last weekend Sara Galindo, the executive fashion editor of ELLE Mexico, paraded her “BFF” Alejandro Fernández, one of Latin America’s best-selling pop stars, all over her Instagram account just like a pimp parades a newly-acquired whore in front of the 7-Eleven with the brightest sign in the city. They went to fashion shows, took pictures with models, hung out with Ricky Martin, and had dinner at the French bistro Le Bilboquet in the Upper East Side, among other glamorous things you’ll never be able to afford, poor person.
Gaby Rivero, better known to us olds as the beautiful maestra Jimena, was trying to get the Mexican press to cover Made in Mexico, some play she’s in, so she pulled a cunning trick: bring together all of her former students from Carrusel, Televisa’s popular telenovela from the late ’80s, as “godfathers” of the play. The publicity stunt was odd, sure, but Rivero’s plan worked and the gathering was spectacular. This is what they look like now.
Shakira & J-Lo are the most difficult people María Elena Salinas has ever interviewed
Last August María Elena Salinas, a veteran news anchor, formally announced she was leaving Univision. After working for the network for over 35 years, Salinas, a beloved Mexican-American personality who’s often considered Jorge Ramos‘ counterpart, made it clear she didn’t get fired from the network, but was simply moving on to other projects:
“They haven’t been fired, I have not resigned, I’m not retiring, and I’m going elsewhere to do the same thing that I do here.”
The anchor’s job has already been filled by Ilia Calderón, a Colombian journalist, but María is still participating in Aquí y Ahora, the 20/20-esque program she’s been hosting with Teresa Rodríguez for close to two decades.
Last week’s Aquí y Ahora seems to be a sort of farewell for María. The YouTube clips Doñavision recently uploaded show women figuratively pulling out the fancy china, a box of pan dulce, and giving the kids NyQuil before going to town on some of most [in]famous Latino celebrities.
Listening to Salinas gossip about celebrities is especially fun because 1) she’s usually serious and composed, 2) looking back, Salinas has interviewed a shit load of important people, from Obama to Subcomandante Marcos, and 3) María calls herself a music “groupie,” and even a reggaetonera (¡Dale hasta abajo, comadre!).
At first, Salinas gloats about scoring certain coveted interviews, such as the time she spoke exclusively to Ricky Martin right after he came out of the closet.
But the real chisme gits gud when María starts throwing motherfuckers under the bus like it’s going out of style. These are my favorite bits:
1) Luis Miguel is all about the fantasy, not the music
María claims it took her years to get an interview with Luis Miguel, Mariah Carey’s cabana boy. When she finally got it, Luismi’s manager sent her up to the singer’s room, and there el Sol earnestly asked her not to question him about his personal life.
“I asked him why [I couldn’t ask personal questions], and he said ‘Today artists make a living thanks to their image, not selling records.'”
Salinas essentially ignored Luis Miguel’s petition, and during the interview proceeded to ask “Why is it so difficult for you to talk about your personal life?”
Poor Luismi. First women try to figure our his dick size using a plate full of sausages, and now this.
2) Shakira & J-Lo were difficult
to listen to interview
María looked at the camera with a devilish grin and, after being asked which artists had been “the most capricious” out of all the ones she’s ever interviewed, the anchor gleefully spoke the perpetrator’s name: “sorry, but Shakira.”
Shocking absolutely no one, Salinas made it clear that Truth Hips was very amable (kind), “but also very cautious with her image. She wouldn’t allow a camera to be positioned on her sides. She wanted no profile shots.”
Sadly, right when Salinas is about to tear into J-Lo, Doñavision’s editing room cuts her off, and instead splices in one last venomous comment: “Sometimes it’s easier to interview a president than an artist.”
3) Pitbull, a horrible artist, is a great person
Now, María never says Pitbull is a horrible artist – that’s just my personal opinion – but she definitely goes out of her way to claim he’s super cool. It’s a bit surprising because Latina moms – the anchor has two daughters – generally don’t like Pitbull types, no matter how many accolades they keep in their condom drawer.
So, you know, props to María for keeping an open mind.
Check out the full interview below.
Only those crazy millennials at Univision would consider this video to be “controversial”
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but our sources are starting to say that there’s a new thing called the «Internets» that will end up replacing, like, your TV and, like, even your newspaper. But hey, if you’re not digitally savvy (my girlfriend told me to write that), don’t worry: Univision is on it! And they have those crazy, hot, young millennials (like you) in mind!
Awesome, you say. But how?
Well, in September, the ever-expanding network launched Edición Digital, an “innovative” noon newscast that is broadcast simultaneously through your abuela’s TV and that new thing we mentioned above. The news show, conducted by journalists Carolina Sarassa and Javier Olivares, a guy with a style so “unconventional” and “dynamic” that he loves to wear suspenders like gramps Larry King. Crazy!
Even crazier is the fact that this young duo reports heavily on new digital phenomena (“from ‘trending topics’ in social networks to videos that go viral every day”), and in doing so they use these things my younger brother calls «hashtags».
Such a “bold” proposal can only stir things up in Latino media, right?
Take, for instance a recent segment on Miami comedy duo Los Pichy Boys. The Cuban-born comedians reacted to Fidel Castro’s death with a seriously unfunny video, which includes fainting and the overdubbing of Raúl Castro’s announcement of his brother’s passing with a joke of… turkey and Thanksgiving!
You’d think that a couple of Castro-obsessed comedians would have had more than a few years to prepare infinite good jokes for his death, but we got a he-choked-with-turkey one.
Anyway, this wouldn’t have been so pathetic if the bold reporters of Edición Digital didn’t consider the skit to be “#controversial.”
Anonymous threats, suits for torturers and blow jobs: The explosive allegations of Don Francisco’s unauthorized biographer
It wasn’t that long ago that we thought we had bidden adieu forever to Don Francisco and his decades-long, sad TV circus. But as you probably know (if you are like us and pay attention to these things), his retirement was shorter than the time we spent considering respecting Mitt Romney: he came back shortly after on Univision’s arch-enemy Telemundo, just to show he could continue doing sad, unimaginative TV for many years to come. At this point, calling him “the Fidel of Latino TV” is not that much of a stretch. But I digress.
While all of this was happening, Chilean journalist Laura Landaeta published her unauthorized biography of this “gigante,” titled simply Don Francisco. In a surprise to no one, since its publication in February the book has was largely ignored by mainstream media both in Chile —where Don Francis has powerful ties to corporations and networks, through personal investments and his involvement in the millions-moving Teletón— and in the Latino Hollywood. (That would be Miami, in case you were wondering.)
Which is shame for people like us, always in the look for the naked truth behind our great Latino forefathers. According to an interview with Chilean website El Ciudadano that was published around the time the book was launched but just caught our curious eyes, there are many, um, gigante stories surrounding the book and our favorite TV creepy uncle:
- Landaeta says Don Francisco would regularly pick women from his show’s audience to bring them to his dressing room and give him blow jobs in exchange for some of the prizes he had at his disposal. Like a fridge.
- The many roadblocks she encountered in the years she researched the book included anonymous phone calls insulting her and warning her not to mess with the TV personality.
- These threats were not new to Landaeta: in her interview, she recalls her first encounter with Don Francisco. She was working for Chilean magazine Qué Pasa, and shortly after writing a story on the sexual harassment suit a former Sábado Gigante model had filed against the TV host, she was assigned to interview him. She recalls being invited Don Francisco to get on her car and give her the interview while he drove to his countryside house, only to be insulted by Don Francisco for writing about his sexual harassment conflict, telling her not to mess with him, and dropping her at the entrance of his countryside property, far away from the city or a bus station. “He has an incredible skill to instill fear in you,” the reporter said.
- Landaeta also claims to have found out that department store Johnson’s, one of the stable sponsors of Sábados Gigantes in Chile, gave suits and clothing for free to the agents of DINA, the sinister intelligence agency of the Pinochet administration, thanks to the relationship of “mutual benefit” between Don Francisco and the head of DINA, convicted human rights criminal Manuel Contreras.
We haven’t gotten our hands on a copy of the Landaeta book, but we can’t wait to do it. We’ll let you know when we do.
In the meantime, you can watch full episodes of Don Francisco Te Invita here.
At your own risk, that is.
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